Battle It Out Read online

Spat? Is that what that was? It hadn’t felt like a spat.

  “That would only piss Jo off,” he murmured.

  “It would be my pleasure.”

  He gave a slight smile and nodded.

  Lacy grabbed Jo’s purse and jacket from near the door. “I’ll be right back!” she said and took off down the steps, waving to Spencer and Liam coming up the walkway.

  “Hey there, birthday boy,” Captain Spencer Turner said. Spencer was the third soldier in Fury. Reaching the porch, Spencer held out a gift bag tied with blue ribbon.

  “It’s from both of us. Happy Birthday, Isaac,” Colonel Liam Cobalt, Spencer’s fiancé, said, coming up the steps behind the man.

  “Thank you both. Come in. I’m so glad you could make it.” He collected himself and took the bag.

  “Where’s Lacy going?” Spencer asked.

  “After Zane,” he grimaced.

  Liam squinted at him.

  “Come on, Bear,” the colonel said and made a beeline toward the kitchen. Bear trotted off with Liam, and a few moments later, a chorus of voices from the back porch greeted the colonel.

  “You guys good?” Spencer stayed put.

  “Define good.” His voice cracked.

  Spencer fisted a hand around his arm and pulled him to a private corner off the den area.

  “What?” He followed because he didn’t have a choice. Friend or not, when a captain in the Army grabs you for a talk, you fucking pay attention.

  “You need to figure your shit out. Whatever is going on between you and Zane is being noticed by the team. Tension like that can fuck Infinity up.”

  This wasn’t his fault! Zane was…Zane was…he couldn’t wrap his head around what Zane was right then so he stayed quiet for the moment.

  He tipped his head. Spencer narrowed his gaze and flattened his lips.

  “I know,” he finally croaked.

  “I’ll tell you this once. Things like this can tear a unit apart, and Liam will transfer one or both of you if you don’t make it better.”

  His breath caught. He wouldn’t survive if he was kicked out of Infinity. Fucking Christ!

  “Make it better,” Spencer warned again, and then yanked him into a hug. “And happy birthday.”

  He remained in the den after Spencer left him to join his fiancé on the back porch.

  Make it better. How the hell was he going to do that? He’d gotten a boyfriend so Zane wouldn’t think he had the hots for him. He cupped hands over his mouth and drew fingers over his lips. What would Zane’s lips have felt like? Stop thinking about it, idiot. What the fuck was Zane playing at anyway? The guy was straight, wasn’t he?

  “Hey,” Lacy said softly next to him. He hadn’t heard her return over the noise in the den.

  “Is he coming back?” He glanced at the empty space behind her.

  She shook her head. “No, I’m sorry.”

  A lump grew in his throat, he blinked his burning eyes, and when Lacy put her arms around him, he hugged her tightly.

  Zane

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  Sucking in what felt like his hundredth deep breath, he turned his jeep toward Jo’s place. Here he was out in the cold when all he wanted was to go back and be with his buddies. And Isaac.

  Of all the goddamned stupid assed things to do, Gannon. What the hell were you trying to prove? It’s Isaac! He reached down and adjusted himself.

  Stopping his jeep outside of Jo’s apartment, he put it in park, but didn’t shut off the engine.

  “Thanks for saving me the expense of an Uber.” Jo broke through his desire to continue his mental thrashing.

  “No problem,” he said absently.

  “Come inside, I’ll relieve your pressure.”

  “No thanks, I don’t have any pressure.”

  She reached across and palmed his crotch. “Feels like you do.”

  “Knock it off.” He knocked her hand away.

  “I don’t know what’s up with you. I can’t even tease you anymore,” she huffed, crossing her arms over her ample bosom.

  “What do you mean?” He squeezed the steering wheel.

  “You’re so angry all the time.”

  “Why do you keep hanging out with me then?” he snarled.

  “Because even though we broke up, I thought we were friends,” she snapped, grabbing her purse and jacket.

  “Look, maybe we should just stop hanging out,” he gritted out between his teeth.

  “You can be such an asshole.” Her voice wobbled.

  “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

  “Is that what you want? You want me to stop coming around?” She stopped from opening the door and turned back to him with a toss of her long blonde hair.

  “I can’t give you what you need.” He avoided her searching gaze.

  “You made that very clear a year ago.” She hesitated. “Is there another woman?”

  “No.” His hands stung from gripping the wheel.

  “I thought there might be.”

  “You’re wrong,” he muttered.

  “Is it work?”

  “Yeah,” he managed to spout the lie through a tight throat. His stomach churned.

  “Hey,” she said softly. Getting to her knees on the passenger seat, she reached across the center console to hug him tight. “It’s okay.”

  He didn’t realize how much he needed human contact until she’d hugged him.

  He gripped her tightly as the feeling of nausea faded.

  She drew back, but not far. “Whatever is wrong, I’ll listen if you need an ear. I was your friend before we hooked up and I am still your friend now.”

  “I know,” he murmured.

  “I’m here for you,” she whispered, and smoothed her fingers through his hair, caressing his scalp. It wasn’t a sexual gesture but more of a motherly comforting, and he took it because he fucking needed it.

  “Want to order food and hang out? We can just watch movies and eat until we puke,” she teased him.

  He laughed and blinked the sting from his eyes.

  “Chinese?”

  “Pizza,” she countered with a smile. One of the things he liked best about her was her counter offers with anything food related.

  “That actually sounds good,” he laughed.

  “Order some of that cinnamon and sugar deep fried bread that you like,” Jo said, putting on a romantic comedy after they entered her apartment.

  He placed their order and sprawled on the couch. She joked about the actors in the movie until he laughed out loud.

  When the pizza came, he scarfed down a whole pie and extra dessert. Good thing he’d ordered two large so Jo got enough to eat. She really was good company when she wasn’t being a snippy brat.

  He untied and pulled off his boots and stretched out his legs. Jo tossed part of a throw blanket over his thighs and went back to watching the movie.

  He gazed at the screen, and it worked for a while, but his mind wandered back to Isaac’s birthday party and the hallway.

  The fucking hallway.

  You’d been doing fine all these years until Isaac. Shit. Don’t go there. He rubbed at his mouth and his stomach churned.

  Finding Isaac standing in the kitchen sunlight, it hadn’t been hard to see why other men found him attractive. Isaac was cover model hot. He may have trim hips, but his shoulders and arms were muscled. Zane could tell he’d been working out while on leave.

  He reached to rub at the spot where he’d hit the wall. Isaac was one tough son of a bitch. Wrestling around wasn’t new to them, and they’d given each other either shit from the moment they’d first met.

  “Excuse me, you’re in my way.” a warm lilting voice said from behind him because he was indeed blocking the doorway to the training room. He turned and squinted down into the blond man’s attractive face and met those bright blue eyes three years prior. Blond hair so light it resembled a halo.

  Words left him speechless.

  “Cat got your tongue?” the cute blond goad
ed.

  “No,” he growled grumpily and stepped back.

  “There you are, Zane. Oh good,” Lieutenant River Seeger said. “I see you’ve met Infinity’s newest recruit.”

  “What?” he croaked.

  Isaac’s gaze traveled over every inch of him, making it the most unforgettable moment in his life.

  “Sergeant Zane Gannon, meet Sergeant Isaac Thorne,” River continued.

  “Any questions?” River asked when the silence between them grew.

  “Are you busy for dinner, Zane?” Isaac gave him a flirtatious smile.

  He squinted, giving the cheery man a warning look. “I’m straight.”

  Of course, that hadn’t been the end of it.

  Isaac had teased him relentlessly through the years and he’d learned to take it with a grain of salt. In fact, it didn’t take long for him to look forward to the banter.

  And when Liam paired them together, they’d moved in sync. They understood each other. Hell, after a while, Isaac would often finish his sentences. While they gave each other shit, they’d hit it off. They argued and fought but always made up, because sometime during the past year, they’d become best friends.

  “Okay?”

  Jo’s soft inquiry drew his gaze and he nodded.

  “Don’t forget your brother and his boyfriend are coming in tomorrow.”

  “Shit, is that tomorrow?” He rubbed at the bridge of his nose and the headache starting behind his eyes.

  “Yep. That’s what you said last week. They land at one thirty.”

  “Thanks.” She really was a good friend.

  “No prob.” She winked and went back to the movie.

  How the hell had he forgotten Diesel and Triton were coming to town? He rubbed at the knot forming in the back of his neck.

  Liar. Fuck you. Isaac’s voice had come out ragged and out of breath. Telling each other to fuck off hadn’t been new, they’d done that for years, but in that darkened hallway, the words had felt different, like a punch to the heart.

  He’d stumbled away at the hissed words and his second instinct had been to run. What the hell had he been thinking anyway?

  Rubbing his fingers over his lips, he dropped his hand. He had some apologizing to do to Isaac. Isaac will understand. Although, he wasn’t so sure of that. He shouldn’t have run. He should have stayed. He would have gone back inside.

  But Isaac hadn’t wanted him there.

  Isaac

  “So, this is it?” he asked, staring at the unit’s psychiatrist.

  Doc sat quietly behind his desk, not saying anything. Papers sat neatly stacked on the gray metal top along with a coffee cup.

  It would be Doc’s signature that would grant him the ability to go back to active duty. To get back to his unit. Back into the thick of things, right where he belonged. With Zane. Although, after Saturday, he wasn’t so sure.

  “Your medical doctor signed off,” Doc murmured.

  “He did.” Isaac rubbed at his side through the army green colored t-shirt where his nicely healed scar lay hidden.

  “I want to go back over everything one more time.”

  “Again?” He grimaced.

  “Humor me.” Doc pulled open the top drawer of his desk and emerged with a lighter. He lit the flame of the candle on the desk.

  “Is that for ambiance?” he teased.

  Doc snorted. “It’s to keep the smell of sweat down.”

  “I’m not sweating.”

  “Not yet.”

  Clove and cinnamon filled the immediate air and he had to admit it was a nice touch.

  “So, ask away.” He waved a hand.

  “Do you regret it?”

  “Getting knifed?”

  Doc gave him a dark look.

  “Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

  “Do you regret helping with the sting.”

  “I was given an order.”

  Doc stared at him.

  “Okay, yeah I could have declined because Colonel Cobalt always tries to give us a choice.”

  “You didn’t answer the question. Do you regret it?”

  “Mayer and Coulier were scum. Trafficking homeless children and extorting money from parents. No, I don’t regret the sting or taking them down. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

  The doc glanced at the file. “And CPS agent Mayer led you right to Governor Van Vorst.”

  “Yeah. We knew there had to be someone higher in the food chain than Councilman Coulier.”

  “Then Governor Van Vorst killed Mayer,” Doc said. “Are you sorry about that?”

  He rubbed at the scar Mayer had given him.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t do it myself. The guy deserved to die.” He shrugged. “You know the saying, live by the sword.”

  “Some could say that about you.”

  “True.” He picked at his fingernail. “The crazy thing is at first, I didn’t think Governor Van Vorst was involved. I thought Mayer ran to him to have an alibi. When Van Vorst shot Mayer in the head, it seemed surreal.”

  “And that’s when you passed out.”

  “From the knife wound, yeah.”

  “And came to with Sergeant Gannon in a secure location.”

  The secure location had been a safe house that FBI Agent Forest Taylor had arranged for them to lay low because of the three million dollar hit Van Vorst had taken out on him and Zane.

  He grunted.

  “How do you feel about the distance growing between you and Zane?”

  What could he say, that Zane had not only been his best friend, but also his confidant? That he’d shared more with Zane than he had with any other person besides Dillon? Of course, he hadn’t told Zane every detail of his life like he had Doc, but he’d given enough hints to let Zane know growing up hadn’t been easy. That having him and Zane at odds was breaking him slowly?

  If Doc thought to go back over his feelings for Zane, he could think again. He’d already hashed over the spike of awareness with Doc.

  At the safe house, he’d felt like Zane had been staring at him too often. Which turned out to be all in his head.

  “Like I said, it must have been my imagination. He doesn’t like me that way.” What about the hallway? He almost opened his mouth to share about that, but decided against it.

  “We went over all this,” he said instead, squinting at Doc.

  “This won’t be the last time we talk this over,” Doc said, and Isaac nodded, but remained quiet.

  Doc changed the subject. “Good thing we’re no longer worried about the hit from Van Vorst since General Rhine had a Supreme Court judge freeze the man’s assets.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed. “Nobody wanted the job when they found out that the asshole couldn’t pay the bounty.”

  Doc studied him from across the desk. “Let’s talk about Dillon, Pia, and Blade under the orders of General Rhine taking down Governor Van Vorst.”

  “What about it?”

  “Did you feel left out?”

  He had felt left out. In fact, he felt left out now. He needed to get back in the action.

  “Yeah. I wanted to be there when both the councilman and governor were arrested. I want to be back with my unit right now,” he admitted.

  “Understandable. Still having nightmares?”

  “They’ve eased off a bit.”

  “About your father?”

  No, they hadn’t been about his no good, drunken, abusive father. They’d been about his mother. Why hadn’t she protected them? He understood it was a stupid question. She’d been abused as well. It was just that he had one burning question. Why hadn’t she taken them far away from that place?

  Fucking Doc, he had a way of digging out the details.

  “I don’t get why she didn’t take us away from there. I mean, I do, but I don’t.”

  “Sometimes even adults find themselves in situations beyond their control. She might have thought she didn’t have a choice or anywhere to go.”

  “Yeah,” he said
, shifting in his chair. They’d talked about all this already, but how many times did they need to go over it?

  “Have you asked her?”

  Okay, that was new. He squinted at Doc.

  “No.”

  “Don’t you think it’s time?” Doc studied him for a long time.

  “Maybe.”

  “Are you still parking outside of her house?”

  He nodded and gripped the arms of the chair and gazed out the window.

  Doc stayed quiet.

  He finally lifted his eyes. “I didn’t stop. She saw me and I didn’t stop.” His voice rasped, like he’d swallowed gravel. Her tear-filled blue eyes haunted him.

  “It’s okay, Isaac. None of this is your fault.”

  “I know that.” He rubbed both hands over his closed eyes before slumping back into his chair.

  “Are you going to keep going over there?”

  “Yeah,” he croaked.

  “Good.” Doc smiled at him.

  He supposed that was progress. He hadn’t even considered driving to his mother’s house before seeing Doc. Now he made a point to park outside a few times during the week. Maybe one day, he’d go inside. Maybe not.

  “So?” He held his breath.

  “Are you comfortable with going back?” Doc closed his file and tapped his fingers on the binder.

  “I’m a Special Forces soldier of a top-secret unit. I face crazy every single day.”

  “That didn’t answer my question.”

  “Yeah, Doc, I’m comfortable.” He smirked.

  “I’m going to fully sign off on one condition.”

  “What’s that?” His heart thumped.

  “There are things you still need to deal with, and I want you to come back and see me once a month.”

  “I can do that.” He smiled.

  “All right then.”

  “Thanks Doc. You’re the best.”

  Doc huffed a laugh and waved him out of the office.

  He opened the door and found Infinity’s medic, Ethan Caufield, with his fist raised to rap on the door.

  “He’s all yours.”

  Ethan rolled his eyes and stepped around him.

  “Got a minute?” the medic asked the doc.

  “Of course,” Doc said and then called out, “Report to Colonel Cobalt, Isaac!”

  “Will do.” Isaac closed the door and walked down the hallway, his smile growing.